I Sing while I Paint.

There are no more words 

There is nothing that can take away the pain my husband feels on his chest 

I wish my words could be a soothing balm, but no words come.

No words suffice. 

I’m sorry is not enough…

My eyes well up in tears

My sorry is not enough…

My heart bleeds 

My sorry will never be enough

My body aches

My eyes are red

But what he feels is far greater than what I must feel

My body feels a billion tons

of shame and guilt and pain

and I’m still privileged,

I don’t fear because of the color of my skin.

People don’t fear me.

But I fear because people fear him.

I don’t live in that fear, and I know we both choose not to let it consume…

but as quick as a flick to a wick a life is taken… again. Tick… tick… it makes my sick. Who is next? Why does there have to be a next? 

I’m sick of the cynicism, I’m sick of the excuses, a life is a life. 

I have no words.

Why can’t I have words to soothe the pain?

Why can’t I have have words that will bring back the life again? 

Bring back life into the man who begged “I can’t breath” 

Why can’t more understand and why has It taken until now for people to speak and to stand?

It’s too late, but does it have to be? 

Can we change? 

Can we recognize the evil and call it out? 

No, I’ve seen far too many people call evil good and justify it by a flag rather than a cross. 

Comparing a life to another life, both living but one breathing that will never breath again… 

Two evils can’t be compared to another… evil is just that… evil. 

If our allegiance to a flag was as strong as the to the cross, this hate would be fleeting. 

Yet here were are… sometimes I want to despise that superficial flag and raise up a cross and say… 

If it were just You… You would be enough.  The one who died on the Cross would have just died for you, because of these wrongs… because of your wrongs, because of our wrongs…

Why have so many people ignored it? Denied it?

Then wiped it away with “we just need to pray” how many prayers will  unveil the eyes of the deceived? Those who choose the deception and run into it as if it were a refuge. 

Enough is enough, but when will it stop? 

Unveil our blinded eyes. 

Seek wisdom and truth, no matter how painful it may come… 

A life. 

One life.

It’s enough. 

No words.

Absolutely no words. 

Not one word is enough.